Things have been really tough over the summer. Yes we have had some amazing times and great memories as a family but there have also been some difficult challenges. I decided I needed to do something to help me overcome them because they were really wearing me down and I was losing "focus and control" so to say. I called our EFAP and set up a meeting with a counsellor. It really helped and it was just the first meeting. My homework was to write a letter about my life.... however I wanted. So that is what I am doing. My goal to myself is to take time every other day to share how I am doing with myself. I have to make that time because if I don't then I can't check it and allow myself time to process and cope with life.
Tim and I had a rough summer.... He was working so hard for us all that he would leave at 830am to go off for courier and then book 2-4 jobs a night for Toolz in Motion. I am so proud of him and how hard he is working to get his business off the ground and it is really working. I think back to last Christmas when he bought the truck and think wow is this going to work??? It is !!!! He has almost enough customers to start decreasing the number of days he does courier. All of this hard work though has meant we as a couple have suffered. We were angry, frustrated and upset with each other most of the time. We took a night though while both kids were out and talked .... It was good. We were able to share and get off our chests what was going on and just tell each other we still loved the other. Now we move on. Another hurdle behind us. So now our goal is to try at least once a week to talk and communicate what is going on so that we both feel like we have the other. This is good.
Alyssa..... wow tweenie attitude ....... and she is now an Apprentice with The Young Canadians of the Calgary Stampede. The thought for me is daunting. I am a little worried about time committment here; we will have to see how it works out. In the meantime it would be nice if Justin Beeber (?sp) didn't also live with us lol but it has begun. It would be nice if we could find her bedroom floor a few times a week, her homework was done and her laundry didn't just go from folding to the laundry bin when I scoop clothes off the floor not knowing if they are dirty. But she is growing and beginning to be more responsible. For this I am thankful.
Brendan has made some amazing progress and regression this summer. He is starting to really click into the pre warnings for upcoming transitions which hopefully will make most of our days easier. He is chewing again constantly and losing chewies... sigh... I guess I should just buy a 30 day supply. At least FSCD has given us a bit of a clothing allowance to replace his shirts as he chews off zippers, buttons, and generally ruins the cuffs and collars. Behaviour...... Social skills need work..... he melts down so quickly. I wish I could figure out how to prevent this and what are his triggers. We did a social story book with photos of him and feelings..... Not sure if it is working. Praise seems to really help. Saying all of this though doesn't help when the medical professionals have the opposite opinion. Without saying the psychologist's name (lets call her Dr Consult) Dr Consult sat in a room with us and Brendan for 2 hrs (a 10x10 room) with no breaks for B and said wow how have you slipped through the cracks? how has it taken so long for you to be here in front of me? I think I know what is going on! We were pleased thinking she had an idea of what was really the core of the problem and what we could do to fix it. Her letter to us: She described Brendan (we agreed with all of it) and then said really it is because of you as his parent's he is this way. End of consult no followup!!! Thanks Dr Consult we sooooo appreciated this NOT!!!! Then we get the year end report from school and Dr Behaviour from there (who is also a psychologist) who has spent hours and hours with B at school says we are seeing exactly what you are seeing and we are concerned. We think he needs followup with a psychologist/behaviour consultant! Ok now what to do??? We will talk to the school and see if they can help facilitate. School! Brendan seems to be settling into grade one. He doesn't talk about any kids in particular but says he likes grade one and the bus ride. I can't wait for a parent conference to see how it is really going.
I think I have said all that I needed to say for now and for those who are following. Thanks for reading this long drawn out homework of mine. I give thanks that you are reading it because I know I am supported! Hugs to you all.
Nicole
